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Translated by: Vali Florescu
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INT. STORE. DAY.

We are in a "MINIMARKET"-type of store. In a corner, there is a department with miscellaneous goods, mostly articles of intimate HYGIENE BRANDS for women. The SHOP ASSISTANT behind the counter, JENNY, a woman about 35 years old, is arranging some packs of TAMPONS. No customer in sight.

A NICE TEENAGE GIRL (long-haired, baggy blue jeans) enters the store. She heads straight to the "tampons" department.

TEENAGE GIRL
Excuse me, please, do you have OB tampons?

SHOP ASSISTANT
Small? Large? Regular?

TEENAGE GIRL
Large.



At this moment, a door inside the store opens and a YOUNG MAN about 22 years old appears.

YOUNG MAN
(to the shop assistant)
Jenny! On the phone...

JENNY
(heading to the door on which the young man has entered)
See what the young lady needs...



The young man comes to the counter.

YOUNG MAN
What would it be?

TEENAGE GIRL
I beg you pardon?

YOUNG MAN
What would you like?

TEENAGE GIRL
Errr... a bottle of spirits, a little chocolate bar - this one...



She points with her finger on the glass of the counter, functioning as a showcase for sweets.

YOUNG MAN
That would be all?

TEENAGE GIRL
No... and... some ear-sticks.



The young man puts all she has requested on the counter.

YOUNG MAN
Fifty seven.

TEENAGE GIRL
(as if just remembering)
Oh, right... I'd also like a pack of OB tampons.

YOUNG MAN
What kind? Small? Regular? Large?

TEENAGE GIRL
Errrr...
(she's already flushed with embarrassment)
Small.



The young man gives her the OB pack. He stares at her, inquiringly.

YOUNG MAN
That would be ninety-three.



The door in the back opens and Jenny appears.

JENNY
(reproachfully, to the young man)
What are you doing, dear? The girl wants large ones.

TEENAGE GIRL
(with downcast eyes)
No, it's all right.

JENNY
How can it be all right? If you want large ones, you should get large ones. You wouldn't be ashamed of it, would you?



The teenage girl puts a hundred thousand lei bill on the counter and grabs the plastic bag with her purchases, intending to leave.

The young man comes out from behind the counter.

YOUNG MAN
Miss!... Your change!...

TEENAGE GIRL
It's OK. Never mind.



The young man takes her by the hand, making her stay.

YOUNG MAN
Could you at least give us a smile for Candid Camera?



He puts his hand around her shoulders and turns her around, to a corner in the left, pointing with his finger. Jenny comes near them, cheerful as a lark.

JENNY
You were on the Candid Camera. What do you say about it?



The first few seconds, the teenage girl doesn't understand what's happened. When she realizes she was the subject of a joke, she manages to compose, with difficulty, a distorted smile.

CUT TO



INT. STORE. DAY.

YOUNG MAN
(with his hand around a stylish woman of about 25-30 years old and pointing to his left)
Yes. But what escapes you is that there we have a hidden camera...



CUT TO



INT. STORE. DAY.

The young man has his hand around the shoulders of a teenage girl of about 13 years old with colorfully braided hair extensions.

YOUNG MAN
Have you ever been on TV? Well, you will now, because...



CUT TO



INT. STORE. DAY.

The young man has his hand around the shoulders of a 40 years old man, dressed in a suit - with the fashionable "classy" blue shirt and yellow tie - and much taller than him.

YOUNG MAN
You look like de Niro, have you ever been told?
At least, this is what we saw through our camera, that is hidden there...



He points to a direction.

CUT TO



INT. STORE. DAY.

The young man is trying to hold by the shoulders a stout lady around 45.

YOUNG MAN
Dear lady, I'm sure you have a great sense of humor. This is why I'm asking you to look with me that way...

2 comments

  • Why?
    Dee, 09.03.2011, 14:56

    Why is anybody who does not admit to watch Big Brother a hypocrit? Is everybody who admits to like classical music a snob? Or as in movies a serial killer or a European? I don't watch Big Brother. As a matter of fact I don't watch talk shows either. And I don't watch Mircea Badea. Not from lack of trying. I just do not enjoy them. As I do not enjoy being called a hypocrit for stating what I like and dislike on TV. However, a screenplay about a reality show is not a reality show, so I might as well like it. It happened with Truman Show.

  • This is our world!
    Alexandru Guzi, 04.07.2017, 11:55

    In my opinion Guinea Pigs was quite good! Great job Lia Bugnar and Vali Florescu, I appreciate the work you've done!

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